Compassion, Philosophy, Relationships, Wisdom, Writing

A Change Within

I’ve changed.

I woke up and checked the news as I do every morning. There is so much bad news amidst the daily stories posted on CNN or FoxNews. Oddly enough, it has begun to affect me. In the past, I would glance through these stories and happen upon one that I thought was interesting. I’d read it, then walk away.

Now I’ll go through the stories and a feeling of disgust or revulsion would wash over me. I will consciously say to myself that there is so much bad news. Where’s the good stuff?

I don’t know what has happened within me. I’ve changed. I know it’s me and not the world. The content of the news hasn’t changed.

No such thing as new “…news, just old news to new people”, I recall someone saying.  Perhaps it has gotten worse, but not so much that the bad news would alone move me. No, I think something clicked on the inside not too long ago.

I’m now more sensitive to these stories of trauma and human suffering. The world is broken into small glass shards, and I’ve finally felt what it’s like to be cut and bloody.

Some may say this is a sign of maturity. I’ve identified with the world around me and I can see our reality, a flickering high-contrast picture, flesh and blood. I don’t like it, yet there is no escape. Try as I may, I’m here now. I suppose my job is to be still and know this is it, until a new day comes.

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9 thoughts on “A Change Within

  1. When this happened to me I was overwhelmed and anxious, I felt like I was being saturated with sadness so I stopped all indulgence in mainstream media and I went to the library and got some good fact and fiction. You will awake more balanced in this area soon, me guarantees it! Dawny 🙂

  2. Oddly enough, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about much of what I read here. This very morning, I resolved that I’m done with television news. It’s one of the few things I even watch anymore. Our local news outlets ran a person, who, mostly like didn’t do anything wrong, out of her job, because they felt she makes too much money – she is some sort of administrator at one of the local school districts – one with at least 6 schools in it! And she has 3 or 4 part time jobs. Between the 5 jobs, she makes between 2 and 3 hundred thousand a year, most of which comes from her main job.
    I can understand the argument that a person might not be able to perform their job properly if they have 4 other jobs, it’s certainly a sound argument, but the state investigated her once and found nothing wrong. She did her work excellently, and not one of her employers had a single negative thing to say about her, including the school district.
    But the news crew harassed her, managed to get the state to REINVESTIGATE her (more harassment), and she finally tendered her resignation. They ran a rare follow up story so that they could gloat.
    The news is supposed to be passionless from the portrayer’s angle. Unless it’s sports or an editorial piece, it’s supposed to be facts, but here you have these clowns using heavy inflections to get what they think across, and sometimes they aren’t even THAT subtle.
    TV news is nothing but commentary. Local, National, Network news, what-have-you. Even the comedy news outlets are not innocent here. Granted, you expect more of that out of them, it’s not serious news, but sometimes that crap makes more sense than the “real news”.
    From now on, I think, if I can’t just read about it (and you have to be careful with that too…) I’m just not going to worry about it. I can never guarantee that I’m getting the truth, and sometimes there are GLARING errors in the reporting.
    Example of THAT – couple of years ago I came across a news story that had me up in arms. It was an obvious lie, whether perpetrated by the reporters or the police, who were trying to smooth over the fact that they had tased an elementary school child. As I recall – The child was holding a large shard of glass in his hand. The teacher told him to put it down, and he didn’t. She summoned the police who apparently were either nearby or on the premises on other business. When the officer asked him to put it down and he didn’t, she tased him.
    The chief of police backed up his officer, commending her on a job well done, claiming that he couldn’t see anything that she could have done, other than what she did.
    No mention was made in the article about WHY there was a shard of broken glass for this kid to grab. It was mentioned that they were in a classroom, that his hand was bleeding, from the glass he was holding, and his head was bleeding… but they never explained why… I’ve revisited the story a number of times, and have seen a number of changes. Now it turns out they tasered him (6 YEARS OLD!) and his sister (12, who it is now claimed “had been drinking”) and that he had been using the glass to threaten the teacher, his fellow students, and the police.

    I should just stop here, I’m getting mad. Not at the news, but cops tasering children makes me want to just pull all my hair out. Not to mention certain police officers’. I did just find out, NOW, from checking the story that while her superiors and their attorneys backed her up and tried to spin it her way, none of the judges she went before agreed, not even close. Found THAT in a blog post. Is it true? *shrug* Hope so.

    • wow, totally true. I agree!

      Also, blogging opens up the news and truth to everyone and lets people decide what’s right or wrong. It’s great. The mainstream media does thrive on “entertainment” value. It’s quick and dirty reporting, most of it, not all of it. I know some good reporting in local papers…. but it’s not going to burst anyone’s mind and make them talk about for the next week at lunchtime.

      People have a thing for gossipy stuff…. it’s dare say criminal sometimes.

      • Well, it’s not just the news – TV, movies, books… It basically all boils down to “What type of conflict do you want? Heres a (name your media) filled with that, and not much else. I find myself watching dramas, which, thankfully these days have at least a hint of mirth to them, just so there will be SOME character development. And when there is, how realistic is it?
        When most (modern) books I read do almost nothing but tell me the main storyline, I find myself rather disgusted. One almost has to spend one’s time reading biographies and non-fiction, because the rest has all turned to pulp fiction.

  3. A sword with two edges, this. To see and feel, to see and set aside: One seems right, the other seems safe. Not sure I’d want to be one or the other of these exclusively. Even Nature, to which one flees to escape the tougher stuff, is filled with hard things. Fascinating to consider it, thought. And I’m glad you wrote about it.
    -Lynn

    • It’s being stuck in the middle and trying to find a way out. But, really, I’d like to explore this some more, and so I’m just simply jotting down my thoughts and trying to put them in this cohesive form.

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